Here's Your Man's Perfect Woman
The Wife and/or The Soulmate; Which One Are You?
He Said:
I was talking to my wife about this topic and she had an "ah ha" moment. So I decided to share it with you all too.
When a man finds his perfect women she will have 3 titles. They are wife, soulmate and the one. But, normally men find them in two or three separate people. It's very rare for a man to find all three in one woman. It's more common for a woman to find her perfect (used loosely of course) man than a man finds his perfect woman aka "The One". In this post I will break them down so that you can decide which may apply to you. Or you may already know and want to share this with others as a great read.
The Wife
Before I break it down for you guys I need to let you know that a male's natural nature is to be selfish. Most of what we do, conceing women, come from a selfish place. Either we want to please ourselves or we don't want to share what we have with anyone else. And when we have decided that we have found a women that we don't want to share with anyone else then we make that relationship exclusive by professing, providing and protecting. I speak more about that in another post on our site titled "How to Know When He's Ready to Settle Down With You". Now that same woman becomes a man's wife when she makes it a requirement of her exclusivity. Guys don't need a marriage certificate to be committed or exclusive so we usually get married because of the woman and what is expected by our families and society. Men don't grow up looking forward to getting married the way that many women do. On average, females in our society have less relationships before getting married. They use those experiences to decide exactly what they want from their ideal husband. On the flip side, males have more relationships before they get married. Those relationships, when we're young, are driven by sex because we use it to determine the type of woman that we want to spend our life with. But that doesn't have to mean marriage for us. It isn't until we're much older that we start to look for more than sex in the woman that we want to spend our life with.
The Soulmate
Now "The Soulmate" is the only person that isn't influenced by sex. Sex is crucial for men to determine if a woman will be their wife or "The One". A soulmate can be based in a friendly and non-sexual relationship between two people of the same or opposite gender. A soulmate is described as that other person that understands you without you having to say a word. They can look at you and know exactly what you want to say and/or how you feel. They are the person that thinks similarly to you. A practical example of this is that you two have the same responses, to what you watch or experience, at the same time on a regular basis. So a soulmate can become a best friend or they can be a family member too. The chemistry between you two is undeniable, to you and others around you, but don't get that confused with sexual chemistry or physical attraction. It can definitely be there between soulmates but it is not required.
The One
And now we get to the Holy Grail for us men. "The One" is the woman that men dream about both young and old. She is the woman that we drool over. She's the one that's our sexual match or our ideal sexual partner. She's the one that does it better than we can imagine. She's open to experimenting sexually and doing things to and with us that we would never admit to our boys or anyone else. Sex is a major factor in determining "The One" for us because it determines so much of what we do. I talk about the necessity of sex to men in our article, "The Importance Of Sex to Your Husband.
"The One" is also our soulmate. Imagine having a relationship with the person that your soul resonates strongest with and they turn you out too! When we find her we'll definitely be looking to marry her because there's no way that we want to share her with anyone else... EVER! Ha ha. We'll tell her that she's gonna marry us well before we even have a ring or a plan.
Are you "The One" for him?
And there you have it. That's the breakdown in its simplest explanation. Yes, there are always exceptions to most rules but this is true for most. It may be difficult to accept but most women will not be "The One" for their husband. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or that he just settled but it does happen. People get married for so many different reasons so I couldn't possibly speak about every man's situation. But for those of you who are "The One" to your man, there are signs of it and the people around you notice it. Are people constantly telling you that you have a good man and you believe them? Do you regularly feel like you don't deserve the attention, affection and adoring that your husband gives you? Does he brag about you to everyone? Is he extra protective of you? Don't confuse that with being possessive, controlling or abusive. Abuse is never ever a sign of love. But you get where I'm going with this. If your husband treats you like you're the only woman on earth and he makes it his life's goal to make your life better then you're probably his "The One".
There are many different aspects of this topic that I haven't addressed. I couldn't possibly explain everything here but this gives you a place to start. The point of For Grown Folks Only is to get you and your spouse to communicate. And this will definitely spark an in depth conversation to say the least. It has for us and I hope that it does the same for you. I realize that not everyone has the type of relationship that the Mrs. and I have when it comes to communication. And most men will only discuss this with other men. But at the least, women now have a little more insight about how we think and operate.
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