Is Sex Just As Important to Her?
Does she want it just as much as you do?
He Said:
How many times have you heard or experienced that men want sex more than women do? More specifically, we hear that husbands want it more than wives? We see sitcoms where the husband is always scheming to get it as much as possible and the wife is just not in the mood or makes him really work for it. But do you think thatus really true? Is that your truth?
Well, I say donut believe the hype. Women are sexual creatures too and that doesnut stop because she becomes a wife. Letus take a deeper look at why this misperception exists.
When we get married, in the cases where traditional roles exist, the responsibilities of men and women change. Men become responsible for the protection and provision of the family but itus a natural extension of what we already do as single men. But wives become responsible for the household and the rearing of the children. No oneus responsibility is more important than the other but demanding of energy is different.
Mothers take the brunt of raising the children which requires constant energy. There are no breaks when raising children. And in a lot of homes today, the wife works then comes home to cook dinner, deal with the children and house management like cleaning. The husband may work long hours, but we usually arenut as engaged with the house and children as much as our wives.
And at the end of the day, men use sex as a way of unwinding and dealing with stresses in our lives. Because sex is much less emotional for us, we donut need a lot to get to our point of release. Women, generally speaking, donut use sex to unwind or to deal with stress. They talk with their friends, find a quiet place/environment, drink wine or indulge in their favorite pastime.
So itus not that sex isnut just as important to her or that she doesnut want it as much as you. I totally believe that women may think of sex almost as much as we do. But because the type of responsibilities are so taxing and because sex is much more than physical for them, it takes more for wives to get into the mood for it.
Additionally, there are always exceptions to every rule but this is all true in general. As husbands, there are many things that we can do to increase the frequency of sex in our homes. Most of this comes from knowing our wives but Iull put the details in another post. And also look out for the article "Quality vs Quantity of Sex" where weull discuss how men and women look at sex differently.
She Said:
Sex is a priority for us, but it gets pushed down on the list of priorities as our wifely responsibilities increase (home, work, children, etc.). Itus much easier to get in the mood or satisfy your man with regularity when you donut have the routines of family life interfering.
Think about it. When you were able to go out on dates and relax at home and spend quality time with each other, getting busy was a non-issue. You could get down when, where and how often you wanted. With children in the mix, women more so than men, have the added responsibilities of tending to the kids, dealing with homework and projects, cooking, games and practises, and all the other things that come along with raising a family.
Men, if you would like sex to move up on her priority list, take care of some of the things sheud normally do (cook, laundry, homework with the kids, etc.), and make date night a priority. Make her (not the sex) your priority. And thatus my 2¢.
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About the Authors
For Grown Folks Only Founders
For Grown Folks Only LLC was founded by Tyrrell and Vanessa Eccles; a married couple of 15+ years and best friends for 20+ years. They share a passion to help other married and monogamous couples to work through their problems using open and honest communication.
