The Difference That Having a Shared Faith Makes in a Marriage
Having A Common Faith in Marriage
He Said:
When a couple share a common goal it makes it easier to get to and accomplish it. Having a common goal sets forth the guidelines and expectations, for both of them, of how to conquer it. Well having a shared faith sets the guidelines and expectations for the marriage.
Because our faith sets the guidelines of our relationship, it takes a lot of pressure off of us and it allows us to focus on the things that make our relationship stronger. It shapes our beliefs and our values. We don't have to spend time figuring out what our roles are and who's responsible for doing what. Our faith takes care of all of that.
For example, our faith tells us that the husband is the provider and the wife is the manager of the home. Now, in this day and time, we both work but we know that this responsibility falls to me. So what she brings to the table helps us both but the lifestyle and financial progression of this family is my responsibility. Likewise, she makes the decisions when it comes to the home; what it looks like, how it functions, the children's routines, etc. She makes sure that the home runs smoothly and therefore the house runs smoothly. You do know that there's a difference, right?
Our faith also tells us that I'm the spiritual leader of my family. So, I have the final say when it comes to where we worship as a family. I also lead us in prayer every morning and I manage prayer with our children at night. This also means that God looks at my walk with Him first when there's something concerning my family as a whole. My relationship with Him can determine the overall opportunities and blessings that are given to us. And likewise, I also bear the brunt of the blame and shame.
Yes, there are some things that we have to work out on our own and that just comes from growing together. But even then, our faith, through the Bible, still sets the guidelines of how we deal with those types of things and situations. Let's use arguing as an example. Just like most marriages and relationships we have our share of disagreements and arguments. And we're really good at getting under each other's skin too. Ha ha. But we don't let our disagreements fester and we eventually get calm down enough to discuss how we feel and come to an understanding; even if we agree to disagree. We try to never go to bed angry at each other. This is taught to us in the Bible in Ephesians 4:26 "Be angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down on your anger."
That's just one of many instances where we let our faith, through the Bible, show us how to resolve an issue and to get through the trials that life puts before us. I couldn't imagine our marriage without our faith or us not sharing the same faith. That may work for others but not us. We try to make sure that we're moving forward and growing together in all things and having a common faith allows us to do just that.
She Said:
Ok, so listen. Marriage is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling relationships you’ll ever experience. That being said, it is also a union that, if you’re not careful, can bring out the worst character flaws you possess and damage your spouse in catastrophic ways in the process. Even the most seasoned couples will tell you Marriage is work. Going into it with your eyes wide open is definitely beneficial, but committing yourself to someone with like goals, aspirations, family values and faith is invaluable!
I can’t tell you how many arguments can be thwarted by just having a fundamental belief system in common! Your faith makes you who you are, influences how you view the world, and dictates how you go about solving problems or navigating obstacles. Being in a marriage with a person of like faith enhances your relationship not only with your spouse, but also with your children, extended family, friends, co-workers, community, etc. I’m not saying that couples who do not share the same faith can’t have a long fruitful marriage or healthy loving relationships. What I am saying is that it is easier when the two agree.
And that's my 2¢.
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About the Authors
For Grown Folks Only Founders
For Grown Folks Only LLC was founded by Tyrrell and Vanessa Eccles; a married couple of 15+ years and best friends for 20+ years. They share a passion to help other married and monogamous couples to work through their problems using open and honest communication.
sharon brown
Wonderful article. Something to really think about . Life is difficult alone but when you think about being a couple, you have to be on the same page. Faith is a great staple to have in your foundation. Thanks for sharing
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